Really sad look into the mind of the molested

I once went to a shrink. Shit never worked for me. But hey I guess everyone is different. I'm glad it helped you.
 
Read his letter. Search for doctor and read that one short paragraph. He said he went but never told anyone.....it doesn't work that way.
My situation wasn't that messed up in severity I just revolted against authority figures like teachers bus drivers those crossing guard old ppl etc. Stupid things.

How I can describe it is you open your mind and someone gets truly inside and realigns your thought process.
I haven't needed once since then over 10 years ago but I remember the feeling going in like this is stupid and the feeling coming out like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and she just massaged my mind and it nutted all over my skull lol.
Good stuff getting over things that make you feel bad/angry
 
he claimed he tried everything but really had he talked openly about it or even about it at all to his doctors there would have been a real good chance for him to minimize the pain. that letter was deep and highly analytical. i dont blame him, i'd prob do the same. hell i've had thoughts of suicide and feeling like an outsider looking in, i had a shitty mother and a father who couldnt stand up to her, but im over that now. over harboring the pain and allowing it to manifest. but when something like that happens to you at kindergarten age, while the mind is still in the early stages of development, it sticks in your mind like a seed, so deeply rooted it can never leave. i can see why it became apart of his every experience. the human mind can be a wonderfully powerful and yet terrible thing.
 
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To those that are calling him a "coward" for taking his own life, unless you have been molested since being 3 years old or ever for that matter you have no right to do so. People that are molested tend to view life in a diffrent way, just like woman that are raped. Are you going to say that a woman that is raped should just go get help and get over it? The Kid was pretty clear in that he has been dealing with this nightmare for the past 20 years. Thats more then most members of this site have even lived. Much worst from what I read, I'm pretty sure it was his dad that did it and his famaly knew it but no one did anything about it because he was saved. How the fuck do you get over that the people that are supposed to protect you are the main people telling you to save yourself in the eyes of the lord and get over it? What kind of logic is that? I understand that people have their own views on one taking their own life, but to sit here and point fingers and call the kid a coward is even more cowardly as I'm sure none of the people talking have ever dealt with anything remotely close to the 20 year nightmare he has dealt with. It's like people that have never had a gun pointed at them before claiming that if it ever happened they would just snatch it away. Given the chance of that happening, those same people would shit their pants.

Sure he could have gone to get help but he was pretty clear to explain that he had major trust issues. Which is expected since everyone he had ever trusted had failed him. He also went on to say that he was afraid that he would end up killing someone. Maybe he started to see evil in himself, much like people that have been molested become killers and go on massive murder rampages. I'm not okay with suicide, but im also no one to judge this guy since I have never been through anything near his 20 year nightmare, nor has anyone in my life. This was truely a tragic story and I can only hope that the guy is in a better place. R.I.P
 
RICKY SILEIGHTY said:
To those that are calling him a "coward" for taking his own life, unless you have been molested since being 3 years old or ever for that matter you have no right to do so. People that are molested tend to view life in a diffrent way, just like woman that are raped. Are you going to say that a woman that is raped should just go get help and get over it? The Kid was pretty clear in that he has been dealing with this nightmare for the past 20 years. Thats more then most members of this site have even lived. Much worst from what I read, I'm pretty sure it was his dad that did it and his famaly knew it but no one did anything about it because he was saved. How the fuck do you get over that the people that are supposed to protect you are the main people telling you to save yourself in the eyes of the lord and get over it? What kind of logic is that? I understand that people have their own views on one taking their own life, but to sit here and point fingers and call the kid a coward is even more cowardly as I'm sure none of the people talking have ever dealt with anything remotely close to the 20 year nightmare he has dealt with. It's like people that have never had a gun pointed at them before claiming that if it ever happened they would just snatch it away. Given the chance of that happening, those same people would shit their pants.

Sure he could have gone to get help but he was pretty clear to explain that he had major trust issues. Which is expected since everyone he had ever trusted had failed him. He also went on to say that he was afraid that he would end up killing someone. Maybe he started to see evil in himself, much like people that have been molested become killers and go on massive murder rampages. I'm not okay with suicide, but im also no one to judge this guy since I have never been through anything near his 20 year nightmare, nor has anyone in my life. This was truely a tragic story and I can only hope that the guy is in a better place. R.I.P
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Who called him a coward? Using the word coward and calling him a coward aret two very different things
 
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xtylerx said:
Who called him a coward? Using the word coward and calling him a coward aret two very different things
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Really? then you may want to go back and read the past comments once again. Saying that suicide is taking the cowards way out is very much so calling him a coward sir. Maybe it was meant another way but it ends up being just that.

Quoting a previous post....
"meh... nothing can justifiy taking your own life he obviously got thru it and went on to become successful in his career - Not to say he didnt go thru some really fucked up shit just sayin he survived it and instead of working thru his issues he took the cowards way out and cheated himself of LIFE"
 
see this is getting touchy now... its a discussion not an argument!

i do believe that his suicide is justified! and a shrink wasnt going to do it for him, he said no matter what he couldnt trust anyone!
 
crayZwhiteboy said:
Most believe there is honor in suicide. It's America society that fucked up the meaning of suicide because of dumb ppl who lost a gf or quit playing wow etc etc. Travel around and you really get out of the box we all are living in no matter who you are. It's been around since the days of ninjas and samurai. They fucked up and instead of bringing shame to their family they stab themselves in the gut....that's a slow death to keep their honor.
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the other part that i recall was him saying that he has no fear of the death/suicide, but his biggest fear is that he would fail. mentioned the strict gun laws so assume that means couldnt get a gun. hard to jump, or drop a toaster in your own tub... cutting wrists sounds terrible. hanging sucks. pills are the easist but he said drugs would not be effecting him.... im not sure if he only meant he wasnt gonna do an illicit drug or he wasnt trippin when he wrote this (and not drunk).

not sure how he did it, since he felt it could fail...
/edit/ orignal post said he commit suicide sunday... this says he died wednesday..

http://www.skyvalleychronicle.com/B...note-telling-of-childhood-sexual-abuse-563408

"Bill Zeller, a 27-year old fifth-year graduate student in the computer science department at Princeton University died Wednesday night as a result of injuries and complications sustained in a suicide attempt."
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so he almost failed.... still trying to find out what he did...

/edit/ found it.... hanging...

http://metatalk.metafilter.com/20205/RIP-Bill-Zeller

From what I can piece together, it seems he went online early Sunday morning, checked MeFi until about 4am EST, went to facebook an hour later and wiped out his entire profile, just leaving his suicide note (warning, it's intense and describes abuse but it is really well written). He then emailed a copy of the note to a large number of friends and acquaintances at 6:57am EST (that's when I got it and first found out what happened), then he began to hang himself.

From what I can gather, ten minutes later someone found him and he was rushed to the hospital but ten minutes is a long time to go without oxygen to the brain. He suffered damage and his brain was showing very little involuntary activity and no voluntary activity. He was induced into a coma to prevent swelling but eventually it was declared he'd be in a permanent vegetative state and tonight at 8pm his respirator was removed and he passed on.
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so he kind of failed, but they let him go.
 
with a suicide note like that its hard to force someone to stay alive.
someone probably got the note right away like a phone alert saying you have an email, skimmed through and rushed over.

no voluntary activity of the brain means your dead and the involuntary activity is your nerve system shutting down. thats why dead people kick their legs and arms, have bowel movements, etc etc

btw, 3 minutes without air is the average time someone can stand
 
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