Really sad look into the mind of the molested

just read the whole thing... wow this guy was truly fucked up... i cant imagine having to deal with something like that everyday i feel kinda bad. it sounds like it was his father too because he tries to justify his mother but his dad isnt even mentioned. im kinda at a loss for words... that was pretty sad.
 
I read the whole letter. Not going to lie, I've always had a view of "its cowarldy to commit suicide" and to a point that still is my view. I don't think its selfish or whatever, I just feel like anger>depression. I would be more angry at the molester than depressed about my past. Who knows. I just don't understand why he didn't take the molester with him to the grave? With so much pain/anger/torture in his life, wouldn't you think that would be the first thought? Or at least to try and get the molester put in jail? I respect this man as a human being, I just don't respect his decisions, and maybe that's because I've never been through anything like it.

I think he came to this decision because he felt alone with no one to talk to
 
yea its hard to say what I would do, seems like what he is feeling is deeper and darker than anything i've ever known.
 
boxmod said:
yea its hard to say what I would do, seems like what he is feeling is deeper and darker than anything i've ever known.
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thats why i felt it was necessary to say at the end of what i wrote that ive never been through anything like that, so i cant really say how i would feel. but it also seems like he may have been bipolar? or am i the only one seeing that? how he is kinda okay, and then starts to say how if he doesnt kill himself, he will kill someone else because of the darkness inside of him. i guesss its not worth debating, seeing how hes gone, i just find reading suicide letters really interesting
 
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illl tell you what my mom deals with domestic violence, and rape victims a lot... and she tells me that it can really distort a person beyond belief... neither of us have been through anything similar so its not even conceivable for us to speculate... but by his writing it sounds like he had no other way of dealing with it.
 
SKINNY D said:
illl tell you what my mom deals with domestic violence, and rape victims a lot... and she tells me that it can really distort a person beyond belief... neither of us have been through anything similar so its not even conceivable for us to speculate... but by his writing it sounds like he had no other way of dealing with it.
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Yea it seems like he was intellligent enough to think it through, I just think there was a better way to handle it
 
wow, i just read though his letter.. it sounds like his life was fucked from the get go.

it was really touching.
 
BiG MiKE said:
Cliff notes? Suicide is never the answer... no matter what you've gone thru IMO
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really easy to say when your dad wasnt butt fucking you at 3 years old... im saying can you imagine the daily torment he wwent through... he was so physically hurt he couldnt go to the bathroom normally. just saying that suicide here souded pretty good...
 
SKINNY D said:
really easy to say when your dad wasnt butt fucking you at 3 years old... im saying can you imagine the daily torment he wwent through... he was so physically hurt he couldnt go to the bathroom normally. just saying that suicide here souded pretty good...
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yea its easy to say that, but i for one wouldnt ever end it in suicide, no matter whats gone on in life. and yea, its hard to believe that because i havnt been through what hes been through, but id do just about anything to avoid feeling like suicide was the only way
 
xtylerx said:
yea its easy to say that, but i for one wouldnt ever end it in suicide, no matter whats gone on in life. and yea, its hard to believe that because i havnt been through what hes been through, but id do just about anything to avoid feeling like suicide was the only way
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what screwed him was he never had a trust figure when young, then older people showed him they cant be trusted...

if the friends and such had been trustworthy, it might have given him hope/a better outlook. only because of how well off ive been (in comparison) do i know that its not as bad as he thinks. no matter what. but he couldnt trust anyone around him- ate him up. I supposed it would for me too. I could see getting tired of all the BS and wanting to just 'rest'/end your life. Its not the best choice prolly, but at least his reason was more legit than "i lost my gf cuz i am a slob" or "people made fun of me in school" = suicide.

he even says that he felt he might someday kill someone else, which is really scary to feel that kind of "evil" as he puts it, inside you.
 
SKINNY D said:
really easy to say when your dad wasnt butt fucking you at 3 years old... im saying can you imagine the daily torment he wwent through... he was so physically hurt he couldnt go to the bathroom normally. just saying that suicide here souded pretty good...
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meh... nothing can justifiy taking your own life he obviously got thru it and went on to become successful in his career - Not to say he didnt go thru some really fucked up shit just sayin he survived it and instead of working thru his issues he took the cowards way out and cheated himself of LIFE
 
boxmod said:
he even says that he felt he might someday kill someone else, which is really scary to feel that kind of "evil" as he puts it, inside you.
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This is what I meant about maybe being bipolar or having some type of mental issue
 
its just sad to see that he never felt mankind could ever truely understand or help him. To me it comes down to how strong a person is to live. It is sad what he had to do, but at the same time, he was at the end of his straw. It shows that people that confide in other are really taking a leap of faith, and he couldn't make that leap. I take a leap of faith when I tell someone of my mistakes or something I hold very personal, especially to my gf. Yea she might screw me in the end, but its something I have to hope that I can trust her with, and he couldn't ever bring himself to that point. very sad, but very powerful letter.
 
Again none of us (hopefully) can speculate on his feelings... but all i can do is try to imagine his place, and imagining that seems very painful... i think this may be the only suicide i have ever justified... he doesnt moan about this shit, he tells us that he is being consumed by an unexplainable evil... he cant have relationships because its not a relationship its a trifecta where the evil consumes the significant other too. this guy may have had a successful career but he said nothing he ever did or could do would bring him any sort of satisfaction. that feeling right there is enough to not want to live. what was his point in living if he couldnt escape this evil, or satisfy himself in any sort of way.

can you honestly try to be in his shoes and still say that you would work your way out of that (remember this guy cant trust anyone)


reading something like this requires a real open mind especially if you plan on discussing it!
 
Fucked up shit, not going to lie, I've met a girl who's been through this sort of stuff, she has to be the strongest human I have ever met in my fucking life. Honestly from probing her mind I still cannot fathom the pain that victims of such abuse deal with. It's mind blowing. I do however find it sad he was never able to rise above his pain. R.I.P
 
Wow. That letter was crazy, I cant imagine how he must feel, and about suicide being selfish, If he felt it was justified, then it was; Perception is your reality. all in all, this guy was obviously fucked up, and it was all he could do. Atleast he tryed to make connections with people and it all just fell infront of him. But, man can he write a good letter.
 
Most believe there is honor in suicide. It's America society that fucked up the meaning of suicide because of dumb ppl who lost a gf or quit playing wow etc etc. Travel around and you really get out of the box we all are living in no matter who you are. It's been around since the days of ninjas and samurai. They fucked up and instead of bringing shame to their family they stab themselves in the gut....that's a slow death to keep their honor.

But this guy just sounded like he needed to see a shrink. Especially being well off, so money isn't a problem.

To not sound like someone who doesn't know Wtf they are talking about....I grew up in a fucked up household.
Parents divorced when i was 3. Lived with mother who abused my sister older...no food child support from my dad not going to us etc etc.

I revolted until ppl got involved and let us live with our dad. Needed a shrink to calm anger down towards everyone with authority. She basically aimed my mind to target only my mother and not other ppl.

Shrinks work. Not only for me in that messed up situation but many ppl close to me.

If you feel you need one go to a session or two. Around $100 an hour.$200 is worth getting out of your slum.
And definitely your life is worth the try
 
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