no need to get all *****y. i dont doubt your uber hundreds of hours of skills, and im sure you know tons more than i do because you done tons of swaps.... :ugh:
ive read about bosch bovs, but never paid much attention to them...
Now that i think about it, what you said sounds normal. Im almost sure that the bosch style bypass valve that you have is actually meant to stay open while being in idle. Those that are like that either needed a pcv valve to run open recirc, but you said you already tried that with no success...soooo, because of that, you are gonna have to run recirc, another bov if you want it to blow to atmos., or dont even bother with a bov...
because you are saying yours has a diaphram, that leads me to believe that you really do have a bypass valve and not a bov. they are different. bypass valve uses a diaphram like you say yours has...soooo, these are open most of the time under engine vacuum (idle, cruise, throttle lift-off), but close firmly under positive (boost) pressure. This open style returns the air quietly back to the turbo compressor inlet or air cleaner area.
might be a little off, but i think thats the gist of it...
basically, the bosch valve you have is doing its job correctly. not really what you need it to do, thats why your car dies, but hey it is what it is... so from what i see, your options are recirc, new bov, or no bov.
you shouldnt come out sounding like such a prick if you're asking others for help...