Step 1 - Move to europe, preferrably Scandinavia (Norway, Sweden, Finland).
Step 2 - Buy old Ford Escort 1600.
Step 3 - Find twisty dirt road
Step 4 - Drive it as fast as you possibly can, try to keep it shiny side up.
Step 5 - If you're not dead at this point, congratulate yourself
Step 6 - Realize that just about every grandmother in Scandinavia can beat your best time on your local road in her Fiat.
Now go home and cry.